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Oh, can you feel the gravity falling, calling us home?
Oh, Dreamwidth, hello. You are really quite clean and beautiful and best of all, an excuse for a nice, neat, empty journal. I do get twitchy when my journal is all full up with three years of madness and whatnot. I'm excited about the cross-posting most of all, because it means everything can go over to LJ and be stored there in one place even when I get twitchy and need a new clean space.
I was meant to be heading back to England tomorrow, but I will not return until Thursday (departing Wednesday night) and I won't be back in my room until the new year, it looks like. I'm okay with that, though, as it means I get to dash from the plane to Sarah's and then have a Claire.
Earlier this year, my supervisor asked me why I study history and I told him it was because I think that without knowing where we come from, we can't know where we are or where we're going ... so to start this journal off, here's that year-in-review meme that goes around.
01. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I moved to England! That was a pretty huge deal. I graduated, started graduate school, got a tattoo, was so homesick I cried, spent more than three weeks away from my cat, and only called home crying and begging to come back once.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions? Will you make more for next year?
I said a lot of things and didn't keep pretty much any of them, so I'm going to go with, "be less crap" and hope for the best this time around.
03. Did anyone close to you give birth?
This was an off year for that! But one of my "we keep pretending we want to be good friends, but it's never going to happen" friends recently announced that she's pregnant, as did an actually dear friend, and my godbrother is going to be a big brother next year.
04. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My uncle passed away a month and a half ago and it has been wretched.
05. What countries did you visit?
England! And I liked it so much, I moved there a month and a half later. (Not really what happened, but let's roll with it.)
06. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A master's degree, productivity, and maybe my creative flow back.
07. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I got into graduate school. The day I graduated. The day I moved to England. The day my uncle died. The day I went and finally got the tattoo I'd been talking about for four years with four of my best friends in the world. All of that should be self-explanatory.
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating was the culmination of five years of hard work and "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't not do this." Getting into graduate school was a huge deal, though, and involved more work to get to. By the time this calendar year rolled around, all I basically had to do was not screw up my last four classes in order to graduate.
09. What was your biggest failure?
Probably the time I started skipping my favorite class, aka the one run by my mentor, because I was too ashamed to admit that I hadn't yet gotten into any of the graduate schools I'd applied to. Coming in a close second is my inability to send these damn e-mails that I've been putting off for close to a month now.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Assorted horrible colds, as per usual. There was also the time I got concussed going ice-skating in Miami in June. I mean, really, what was I thinking? Even the local ice hockey team hasn't done that skating in June shit since 1996.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
That I bought myself, my tattoo. That was bought for me ... a tie between the Kindle Fire from my mother and my awesome new menorah.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Z IS JUST THE BEST. I say this a lot about her, but it's always true! We hang out exactly the right amount and while I sometimes think she looks at me like an overly earnest puppy you can't help feeling bad for, she's so nice about it. Jessica and Sarah were amazing in taking care of me in the wake of "oh god what is happening to my life" and my transition to England. And A and R are basically the best college friends I could've asked for.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-boyfriend: still a jerk! Every politician ever: kind of an asshole! And let's not talk about Penn State.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To pay my battels and top up my meal card. I live a boring life.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I feel like a broken record: graduating! Moving to England! Various July shenanigans with my girls!
16. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
"Na Na Na," My Chemical Romance. And "Bullet Soul," Switchfoot. "He Loves Us," SO MANY VERSIONS is more of 2010-2011, but I started to actually like it this year, so there's that.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder. Definitely sadder. But that's situational and this too shall pass.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner! In a really healthy, didn't think too much about it way and that's the best part.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, technically. The money's a loan against my college fund, though, so not really? It's weird.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd kept in touch with people better, mostly. This year, I've done so many amazing things, it's more what I wish I hadn't done.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I hadn't gotten so hung up on people/things. I wish I'd procrastinated less. Less getting concussed would have also been nice.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
The plan my mother and I have is, "Pajamas. Chinese food. Beach?"
21. How will you be spending New Years?
I don't know, ask Sarah and Jessica! In London with them and Claire, though.
22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I admitted that I was into a dude, but other than that, mostly I just fell in love with Once Upon A Time and my supervisor's wife's monographs.
23. How many one-night stands?
AHAHA no.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Once Upon A Time. Folks, if any show was made to make anyone happy, this show was designed bottom up to thrill me. There is literally nothing about it that is not absolutely flawless. People die! Relationships are fucked up and happily ever after may eventually be end game, but it's going to be hell getting there! People not remembering things and then starting to!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not really. One of my uncles has progressed from kind of being "ugh" to "wow, you were a dick at my favorite uncle's funeral, please stop that bullshit," but that's as far as it's gone.
26. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read anything for the first time that I would say was the best book -- though I did finally get around to reading Bujold and that was fantastic! I did an Anne of Green Gables reread, though, and Rilla of Ingleside remains my favorite comfort book. Sadly, the amazing book my course convener wrote that revolutionized my life is one I read in 2010, or I'd put that here.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn't really discover much of anything this year. Dave gave me a memory stick of some pretty sweet tunes, though? And -- oh, I think I started listening to Brooke Fraser's solo stuff this year! We'll go with her.
28. What did you want and get?
Acceptance to graduate school. My bachelor's degree. My grandfather saying he was proud of me in those words, out loud, to me.
29. What did you want and not get?
I wanted my cat with me all the time. (If you haven't noticed yet, she and I are a bit codependent. It's unhealthy for me, but works for her.) I wanted my uncle to beat the unbeatable (lung cancer's hard enough, but the amount that it metastasized before it was caught was insurmountable, if we're all honest). I wanted to not fuck up.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Probably Thor, with Captain America a close second. The best viewing of a movie was the drunken HP6 viewing in July.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned twenty-two. I treated myself to lunch, watched fireworks a day early at my college, and then hopped a bus to London to curl up next to Jessica and curse about the Panthers' inability to win in a fucking shootout for the second of three games in a row.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Back to being a broken record -- my uncle not being dead would've been really great.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
...fashion?
34. What kept you sane?
Jessica. Sarah. Claire. Losing myself in statistics and schoolwork. Long phonecalls home. Esther.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mike Stanton, the hope of Miami! I mean, really. He threatened in the NL home run race with ten+ games less than everyone but Pujols and he's five years younger than two of the guys ahead of him and nine years younger than the other two. #beast Speaking of beasts, I hear that Kris Versteeg is a pretty sweet dude. And everyone political has bad opinions and should feel bad, so we're sticking with sports dudes. Matt Moore remembering he's a quarterback: also sweet! Chad Henne not being a quarterback in the NFL: REALLY GREAT!!! Um. And every guy who plays D for the Panthers, plus Captain Weiss.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE GO AWAY.
37. Who did you miss?
My cat. My mom. My friends back home. My uncle.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Z! And A and R! They are all so great, you guys, I could gush forever!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
"Don't fuck up. Get shit done." Well, I'm working on learning it, at least.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I try to keep a playlist with a song for each month of the year, but I apparently have not done that this year. The big huge thing that turned this year into what I will always remember it for is best summed up by this one, though:
Because I always believed you when you swore to me you'd pull through, so I plugged my heart into yours, a life support. So see, you can't leave, because I always believed. (Jimmy Robbins, "Surgery.")
That's done, then! Now I should probably try and get some sleep. Urgh.
I was meant to be heading back to England tomorrow, but I will not return until Thursday (departing Wednesday night) and I won't be back in my room until the new year, it looks like. I'm okay with that, though, as it means I get to dash from the plane to Sarah's and then have a Claire.
Earlier this year, my supervisor asked me why I study history and I told him it was because I think that without knowing where we come from, we can't know where we are or where we're going ... so to start this journal off, here's that year-in-review meme that goes around.
01. What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before?
I moved to England! That was a pretty huge deal. I graduated, started graduate school, got a tattoo, was so homesick I cried, spent more than three weeks away from my cat, and only called home crying and begging to come back once.
02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions? Will you make more for next year?
I said a lot of things and didn't keep pretty much any of them, so I'm going to go with, "be less crap" and hope for the best this time around.
03. Did anyone close to you give birth?
This was an off year for that! But one of my "we keep pretending we want to be good friends, but it's never going to happen" friends recently announced that she's pregnant, as did an actually dear friend, and my godbrother is going to be a big brother next year.
04. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes. My uncle passed away a month and a half ago and it has been wretched.
05. What countries did you visit?
England! And I liked it so much, I moved there a month and a half later. (Not really what happened, but let's roll with it.)
06. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
A master's degree, productivity, and maybe my creative flow back.
07. What date from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day I got into graduate school. The day I graduated. The day I moved to England. The day my uncle died. The day I went and finally got the tattoo I'd been talking about for four years with four of my best friends in the world. All of that should be self-explanatory.
08. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating was the culmination of five years of hard work and "I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't not do this." Getting into graduate school was a huge deal, though, and involved more work to get to. By the time this calendar year rolled around, all I basically had to do was not screw up my last four classes in order to graduate.
09. What was your biggest failure?
Probably the time I started skipping my favorite class, aka the one run by my mentor, because I was too ashamed to admit that I hadn't yet gotten into any of the graduate schools I'd applied to. Coming in a close second is my inability to send these damn e-mails that I've been putting off for close to a month now.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Assorted horrible colds, as per usual. There was also the time I got concussed going ice-skating in Miami in June. I mean, really, what was I thinking? Even the local ice hockey team hasn't done that skating in June shit since 1996.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
That I bought myself, my tattoo. That was bought for me ... a tie between the Kindle Fire from my mother and my awesome new menorah.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Z IS JUST THE BEST. I say this a lot about her, but it's always true! We hang out exactly the right amount and while I sometimes think she looks at me like an overly earnest puppy you can't help feeling bad for, she's so nice about it. Jessica and Sarah were amazing in taking care of me in the wake of "oh god what is happening to my life" and my transition to England. And A and R are basically the best college friends I could've asked for.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My ex-boyfriend: still a jerk! Every politician ever: kind of an asshole! And let's not talk about Penn State.
14. Where did most of your money go?
To pay my battels and top up my meal card. I live a boring life.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
I feel like a broken record: graduating! Moving to England! Various July shenanigans with my girls!
16. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
"Na Na Na," My Chemical Romance. And "Bullet Soul," Switchfoot. "He Loves Us," SO MANY VERSIONS is more of 2010-2011, but I started to actually like it this year, so there's that.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Sadder. Definitely sadder. But that's situational and this too shall pass.
ii. thinner or fatter? Thinner! In a really healthy, didn't think too much about it way and that's the best part.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer, technically. The money's a loan against my college fund, though, so not really? It's weird.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
I wish I'd kept in touch with people better, mostly. This year, I've done so many amazing things, it's more what I wish I hadn't done.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
I wish I hadn't gotten so hung up on people/things. I wish I'd procrastinated less. Less getting concussed would have also been nice.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
The plan my mother and I have is, "Pajamas. Chinese food. Beach?"
21. How will you be spending New Years?
I don't know, ask Sarah and Jessica! In London with them and Claire, though.
22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
I admitted that I was into a dude, but other than that, mostly I just fell in love with Once Upon A Time and my supervisor's wife's monographs.
23. How many one-night stands?
AHAHA no.
24. What was your favorite TV program?
Once Upon A Time. Folks, if any show was made to make anyone happy, this show was designed bottom up to thrill me. There is literally nothing about it that is not absolutely flawless. People die! Relationships are fucked up and happily ever after may eventually be end game, but it's going to be hell getting there! People not remembering things and then starting to!
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Not really. One of my uncles has progressed from kind of being "ugh" to "wow, you were a dick at my favorite uncle's funeral, please stop that bullshit," but that's as far as it's gone.
26. What was the best book you read?
I didn't read anything for the first time that I would say was the best book -- though I did finally get around to reading Bujold and that was fantastic! I did an Anne of Green Gables reread, though, and Rilla of Ingleside remains my favorite comfort book. Sadly, the amazing book my course convener wrote that revolutionized my life is one I read in 2010, or I'd put that here.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
I didn't really discover much of anything this year. Dave gave me a memory stick of some pretty sweet tunes, though? And -- oh, I think I started listening to Brooke Fraser's solo stuff this year! We'll go with her.
28. What did you want and get?
Acceptance to graduate school. My bachelor's degree. My grandfather saying he was proud of me in those words, out loud, to me.
29. What did you want and not get?
I wanted my cat with me all the time. (If you haven't noticed yet, she and I are a bit codependent. It's unhealthy for me, but works for her.) I wanted my uncle to beat the unbeatable (lung cancer's hard enough, but the amount that it metastasized before it was caught was insurmountable, if we're all honest). I wanted to not fuck up.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Probably Thor, with Captain America a close second. The best viewing of a movie was the drunken HP6 viewing in July.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned twenty-two. I treated myself to lunch, watched fireworks a day early at my college, and then hopped a bus to London to curl up next to Jessica and curse about the Panthers' inability to win in a fucking shootout for the second of three games in a row.
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Back to being a broken record -- my uncle not being dead would've been really great.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
...fashion?
34. What kept you sane?
Jessica. Sarah. Claire. Losing myself in statistics and schoolwork. Long phonecalls home. Esther.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Mike Stanton, the hope of Miami! I mean, really. He threatened in the NL home run race with ten+ games less than everyone but Pujols and he's five years younger than two of the guys ahead of him and nine years younger than the other two. #beast Speaking of beasts, I hear that Kris Versteeg is a pretty sweet dude. And everyone political has bad opinions and should feel bad, so we're sticking with sports dudes. Matt Moore remembering he's a quarterback: also sweet! Chad Henne not being a quarterback in the NFL: REALLY GREAT!!! Um. And every guy who plays D for the Panthers, plus Captain Weiss.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
EVERYTHING I HATE EVERYONE GO AWAY.
37. Who did you miss?
My cat. My mom. My friends back home. My uncle.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
Z! And A and R! They are all so great, you guys, I could gush forever!
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
"Don't fuck up. Get shit done." Well, I'm working on learning it, at least.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I try to keep a playlist with a song for each month of the year, but I apparently have not done that this year. The big huge thing that turned this year into what I will always remember it for is best summed up by this one, though:
Because I always believed you when you swore to me you'd pull through, so I plugged my heart into yours, a life support. So see, you can't leave, because I always believed. (Jimmy Robbins, "Surgery.")
That's done, then! Now I should probably try and get some sleep. Urgh.