candesco: keaton ellerby and jason garrison! :D (ellerby!)
Handed in my essays two minutes late but it was fine! My period struck while we were at the first pub and then the cramps from hell struck at the second one. It was a great day, though, because I had cider and good company and then I curled up in bed. The only bad part was some horrible woman waking me up at one in the morning, Jessica. It's cool, I'm going to cuddle her to death tomorrow. SNUGGLES FOREVER.

I don't think I'd really processed how stressed I've been until I sat down at the pub yesterday with my cohort and relaxed. I was aware that I was absolutely out of my mind, so seriously, I apologize for how unhinged I've been. I'm working on a return to sanity and it's really quite nice. I did have a bit of a, um, moment on twitter today while listening to Marek vs. Wyshynski, but if you are capable of hearing someone float the idea of Dale trading for Kane and then them saying, "And you have Patrick Kane shepherding Jonathan Huberdeau along as he enters the league" without going insane on some level, you have more mental fortitude than I do.

Slowly putting together that post about Andrew Shaw and Garrett Wilson. There are distracting things in Panthers land, like playoff series that are both a game away from being won by my teams and Trocheck, my favorite prospect after Markstrom and Huberdeau, signing his ELC! I don't know that he'll actually make the team, but whatever, he's my favorite. If you can look at his smile and not be charmed, you're not human. (He's in Chicago right now, ftr. A healthy scratch, because he JUST got to the Rampage and we're not going to talk about how I squeaked just seeing his name on the scratches list. We're going to go for a picspam instead, which will be slightly less embarrassing.)

Trocheck! And a couple with Brandon Saad, because Pittsburgh bros playing for Saginaw. )

candesco: keaton ellerby and jason garrison! :D (ellerby!)
Shit I am losing my mind over: Booth's Joe Louis debut! He's never played there and his favorite memory took place there and it's Booth, so I'm basically always losing my mind. And also, the one and only Stephen Weiss set the franchise's record for games played tonight and this has a bunch of great quotes from Dineen and Matthias. Matthias wanting to be Weiss is SO GREAT. I can't even. And there is this article from when Weiss made his debut. Also, like six Rampage guys (including Keith Seabrook) got Twitter in the past couple of days and they are all so amazing and creepers about each other.

My meeting with my supervisor today was amazing. We hammered out the chapters for my dissertation and I'm going to do the huge evidence collection in the next couple of weeks and then I can get on the fun business of my lit review and my close reading section. He laughed at me when I told him it was way easier to procrastinate when I was a lit major. Look, I got to write twenty pages off of three sources back then. I need three sources a PARAGRAPH these days. Wretched.

I am bootstrapping myself the fuck out of my anxiety. It's been ... weird. My anxiety is very much just "NO, I CAN'T" in a kind of white noise way and no one seems to understand that it's not actually motivated by specific fears. It's just this overwhelming feeling of imperfection. And so I tell myself I'm a worthless human being and then I go and get on with doing shit. It is not the healthiest thing, but neither is listening to a playlist that consists of nothing but Surgery, Just Fishin', Friend of the Devil, Blackbird, and Amazing Grace, and I'm doing that ... too much. (Surgery reminds me of my uncle like nothing else, Just Fishin' is a horrible song but kills me every time, Friend of the Devil was my dad's song, and then Blackbird and Amazing Grace are what we played at the funerals. So. Yeah.)

Homework now. ♥ (And then possibly more writing on a thing where Ells and Carey hang out and make fun of each other? Idk. It's a thing that's happening in my googledocs right now.)
candesco: text: fairy tales tell us not only do dragons exist, but they can be defeated (slaying dragons)
Things I did this weekend: got shitfaced with R and her boy twice (once while he was wearing a goddamn Phillies shirt, the other time while he was wearing a Mike Richards shirt, it was amazing that I looked at him with anything other than contempt at any point this weekend, particularly as the Mike Richards shirt has now been worn three days in a row), wrote 1500 words of Booth/Weiss for some reason, and sent Katie an e-mail about my vomit, which she replied to with talk about her snot because we are the classiest human beings.

Basically what I got out of this article is that Brian Campbell's fiancée has all of the correct opinions in the world. At least about the weather which because I am an old lady now is all I ever talk and/or think about. I would also marry her with opinions like that, Soupy, well done. (Okay, she has one incorrect opinion and that is thinking he's attractive, but hey. Dopey gingers need love too.)

Speaking of opinions, you know whose opinions are the worst? Ryan Kesler. As evidence, I submit the haircut he had Booth get at the 2004 WJC, dear lord. (Also found while going through the Booth tag on Tumblr, something I have only recently been able to do because of finally being desensitized to how weird it is not to see him in Panthers gear: SMILING BOOTH. Also, fuckwads who tag pictures of him as "Florida Panthers" even when he's in Canucks gear CAN GO ROT.)

And since I have posted this everywhere because I am so incredibly thrilled, C and I decided we were going to do one not-dirt cheap hockey game while I'm home in March: the seats here in red are where we will be for the March game against the Hurricanes.

Um. I'm also going to the doctor tomorrow to hopefully get put back on anti-anxiety meds. It shouldn't be too big of a deal (she and I spoke about it briefly in September), but I am of course anxious about it. Whatever. I hate my brain chemicals and their need to be regulated, but if I can stop being freaked the fuck out long enough to actually open the word documents I need to open for school, it would be really good.


candesco: Bow, two, and three of a boat and some flowers. (Default)

October 2016



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